Helpful Hudson

Hudson loves to come out and "help" me shovel.  He would constantly ask to take my shovel and push some snow around. As cute as I thought it was it made the whole shoveling the driveway a very long process. I decided it was worth the 3 bucks for the pint size shovel, one of my finer investments. It saved me hours of shovel time. So I just want to say a big thank you to the tiny shovel makers of China. You have changed my life. Thank you.

Olive is here!

I get it, I find new ways to suck. A major event happens in my life and don't say a peep to the blogashpere. How could I turn my back on the community?! I don't deserve the keyboard I am typing on. Any who, Olive was born on September 23rd. We could not ask for a better baby. She is beautiful and loves to sleep. And Hudson loves her, maybe a little too much. He smothers her with kisses.

Ready, Set...Wait

We have Olive's room ready to go. Incase the pink didn't clue you in we are having a girl. Hudson has decided to help prepare us for Olive's arrival as well. He has decided the last few nights to wake up every two hours. He will cry for me and I will get to his room and ask him what he wants. He will say "Quesadilla" or "Pizza" or "Hot Dog". He's totally hip to Taco Bell's 4th meal. I also totally get that some of life's best meals taste better at 3am. I of course try to discourage this behavior as best as possible. The problem is, is that it runs in our blood. I remember staying up late as a young lad watching TV in the basement and then hearing the squeak of the floor above me as my pops on autopilot fixed himself a bowl of ice cream. I would go upstairs and he wouldn't even look at me. I think he was sleep eating. It's like a pit bull is bred to fight. We were bred to snack. You can't fight nature.

Somebody has got to tell him!

You will have to click on this picture to get a better view. Did anyone else notice Stevie's choice of facial hair at the DNC last week? It's not a goatee because there is no hair on the chin. To me I pictured Stevie was in the back waiting to come on and enjoying a delicious piece of chocolate cake when they came back and said "Mr. Wonder your on!" I then picture him scrambling to get on stage forgetting to wipe his mouth, Obviously not checking a mirror. Is it just me, or is this a strange choice of facial hair? I get it, he's blind, but doesn't he have someone close to say "hey the hair around the face. Not good." 

Runner?

I apologize for my short hiatus from blogging. I know I have upset my fans, both of them, Sorry Leyla and Emily. I have recently started running again. My friends Ryan and Kevin are training for the Chicago Marathon on October 4. I, for some reason, thought starting to train 5 weeks out with marathon runners was a good idea. I was actually impressed with myself that I could make the 13 mile run with them last Saturday. I do think it looks a little odd that these two fit guys with sleeveless shirts and cut biceps are running with this chubby guy. Clearly people driving by must be thinking one of these things is not like the other. Me bouncing and jiggling quite a bit more than a real runner should. It begs the question, How can someone run 13 miles and still be chubby? I don't know. I'm going to McDonald's to clear my head and think it over.

Nick made a legitimate request in the comments of my previous post. I am posting this picture incase the authorities are in need of a lead on the latest possible stabbing in Sandy. Hudson and I were at South Towne Mall. We swung by the knife shop where Suzy was working. (Nicks better half) We were there visiting with Nick, Suzy and Macy when in walks in a young customer. Because kids sense evil, Hudson immediately grabs my leg and say's "Daddy, I scurd." All I could do was pat him on the head and say, "Me too son, me too." Suzy, showing no fear, goes right up to him and starts talking. Must be the 15 years in the blade biz.  The customer flashes from his man purse strapped across his body that he is packin' and is interested in adding to his medieval battle ax collection. Nick described him as a member of the Trench Coat Mafia. Nick missed out on one of the key ingredients of being a member. You need a trench coat. He was wearing a T-shirt that said, "Kick'n Bass" and a Wilson wrist band. I think he is more a citizen of Coo Cooville. I'm sorry the picture is a little blurry. Nick was scared and couldn't stop shaking. He may have trickled a little. Not sure you'll have to ask him.

Bloody Slurpee

Hudson wanted a Slurpee. Of course I am still working on father of year so I am once again willing to oblige. Not to mention I don't mind the taste of the sweet nectar. We wander in to the "Sev" and blocking our way to the Slurpee machine is a group of six pre teen girls. There is a little commotion going on and then one of the employee's hands a paper towel to one of the girls. She immediately puts it to her mouth. She is bleeding and dangerously close to my Pina Colada! I put my hand down to lean on the counter as I wait. I nearly put my hand on a napkin with a bloody tooth resting in the center. I was disgusted. My disgust quickly turned into to desire. I had to have a photo! I am fumbling with the camera on my phone when I hear this pre teen voice ask "Can you help me with this lid?" I look at the pre teen with a bloody paper towel in one hand and a Slurpee in another. I realize she is looking right at me. I then said "Are you talking to me?" She was. So I helped keeping one eye on the tooth. I think she saw me eyeing her bloody chiclet because she reached for it quickly and in her haste sent it flying to floor... tink... tink...tink bouncing across the "Sev". My dreams of this photo opportunity went flying with it. That's why I have this stupid picture. Sorry I couldn't share an actual visual with this one. 

Is it really 5 hours?

 I feel I need to make this public service announcement and share my experience with the "5 Hour Energy Shot". Wednesday night I was working a closing shift at the Crew. I had an indoor soccer game right after work. I was feeling a little tired from a hard day of folding t-shirts and I knew I needed a little pick me up. I remember my dad had given me a magical potion that I put in my soccer bag just for such an occasion. I guzzle the little shot down and run onto the field. I sub out during the game for a little rest. I am sitting there for a minute and realize my heart is still at a full sprint and doesn't appear to be slowing down. I, at first, think I am about to have a heart attack. Then I smile and know the "5 hour energy shot" is doing her job. Maybe a little to well. I finish the game and head home. Normally caffeine doesn't effect me to badly. I could have a Pepsi right before bed and when my head hits the pillow, show's over I'm out.  But after laying in my bed for an hour I put my hand up and... Yep I still got a bit of the shakes. I'm getting nervous because I have to be to work at 8 am. I start thinking what part of my morning routine I can cut in order to give me a few more precious minutes of sleep. Of course the gym is the first victim on my list. (as usual) I finally hit the promise land at 3 am. Exactly 5 hours after I had taken the shot. All I am saying is there is some serious truth in advertising in this product. Plan accordingly. 

Wet Banana

This takes me back to when I was a kid and we had The Wet Banana a.k.a Slip and Slide. It was a long yellow piece of plastic that had water running down it. Our house in Sandy, growing up, sat up on a hill. When we would put the Wet Banana on it you could get some serious speed. Unfortunately the hill is short so you could easily end up with some full body scraps on the fast approaching sidewalk. My worst injuring was with a spectator. I went sliding down and my friend was standing near the bottom of the Banana and I clipped his legs out from under him. My bucked tooth friend (yes we had that in common) came flying down on top of me. His before mentioned tooth came driving through my upper lip. I have a scar to this day that prevents me, for better or worse, from growing an even mustache.

Another comment about this picture above. You will notice that Hudson is wearing his pajama's and it is 4 in the afternoon. I was talking to Leyla and kinda of feeling bad that I was creating the next Hugh Hefener. Leyla then informed me that Maddox had just spent the last two hours watching TV naked on their couch. 

In need of interior design tips?

I walked into my parents bathroom and tripped on some bad taste! I haven't known my mother to make such questionable choices in the past. I knew there had to be a story. Apparently a sweet old women that my mom picks up for church every Sunday wanted to thank her. My mother felt obligated to use the toilet bling. Of course I felt a little guilty for giving her grief about it, but I kinda hope the women will give her a shirt or coat next time.

Young Dexter?

It was date night for Mel and I. We decided to bring along this young serial killer you see pictured above for protection in the mean streets of Sandy. I thought it was so cute when Hudson would make his little sinister face. And then I thought to myself this face is really cute at 2, but what happens when he turns 20 or 30 and makes this face? I've seen this look on the walls of the post office. Needless to say he will be put in an immediate timeout if I see this look again. Better safe than sorry I always say.

A Jimmy Buffet Moment

Mel was at work so I decided Hudson and I needed to spend some quality time together. So what better way then to take a walk to our friendly neighborhood Kmart. So kicked on the flip flops, grabbed Hudson and the stroller and we were off. Road trip Jesus style. The Kmart is not quite a mile from our house. We get to the parking lot and then I stumble and nearly hit the pavement. I look down and realize I had my Jimmy Buffet moment. I blew out my flip flop! I limp into the store using the stroller more as a walker and less as a child transporting device. Hudson of course wants to go straight to the toy section. I am still vying for father of the year so I happily oblige figuring I can deal with my hoof problem right after. Hudson picks out some Matchbox cars and then I begin my quest to find some cheap footwear to get me home. I had my choice of a Macgregor golf shoe with spikes or what I can only describe as something I've seen worn by lunch ladies. The choice had been made for me. I was walking home with nothing between me and the earth. We start to head home and realize quickly I had made a poor choice. The 100 degree weather had ensured that the pavement had reached 150 plus. After my third degree burn I decided to drag one foot in the grass where ever possible. I finally made it home blistered and sun beaten.

Bug Encounter!

Last night I was walking my nephew Griffin back to my parents house. I left the sliding glass door open because I knew Hudson would follow us. I dropped Griffin off at my parents house and started to walk back to my house. I then hear Hudson screaming. I looked over and could see he was under the porch light that was on attracting all kinds of moths and large bugs. I run over and pick him up and run in the house and slam the sliding door behind us. I then see two large coming right towards us with bad intentions. I'm not sure but I think one bug had a dog in its mouth. I take a few swings that seem to scare them off. Hudson lets out a groan and I look down and see this bug has landed on my shirt. In one of my least proudest moments I screamed like a girl at a Hannah Montana concert. I nearly dropped Hudson to put into effect my natural reaction of clutching my imaginary pearls. A reaction I have tried to rid myself of. But as evidenced in my previous statement, I have not quite kicked the habit. I ran Hudson upstairs into the safety of his room. I then grabbed the fly swatter and told him, in my best Clint Eastwood, I was going to take care of business. I flew downstairs and began swinging that fly swatter to kill first ask questions later. Needless to say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!! I pray Hudson is too young to remember some of my more sissy moments.

Discovery Gateway

So we decided to hit the Discovery Gateway. It is good air conditioned fun for kids in the summer. The picture above Maddox, Gabe and Hudson decided to go on a boat ride. Now you may be looking at this picture saying ‘Wow this is a bad picture, It’s blurry, nobody is looking at the camera, the lighting is bad. Why would Xav pick this photo?’ Well I tell you why. We got back from our trip from California and I started to share photos with my sisters and Mom. My lovely Mother started to point out that Only Hudson, Mel and I were in my photos. You would see the occasional arm or foot of a sister or nephew, but thats all. At this point I realize I’m a bit of jerk. But my persistent mother wants to make sure I am clear on the error of my ways. She say’s “ It looks like you were on this trip by yourselves.” “ Do you not care about the rest of the family?”. (Make sure you read these quotes with a scolding nicaraguan accent. It hurts more that way.) She even calls me the next day to let me know my Aunt loved the photos on the web, but wanted to know where the rest of the family was when we were in Disneyland. I could almost feel my Mothers tiny fist come through the phone and punch me in the face.

Mom if you read this I Love you and please don’t hit me.... Again.

Father Not Like Son.

Yesterday we took Hudson to a park with his cousins Maddox and Griffin. They were all running around this play area having a good time. Then Hudson discovers this rock climbing wall area. I suspect he saw Maddox go up the wall and since he wants to do whatever Maddox is doing he thought he should give it a shot. For those who know me I am a bit afraid of heights. I don’t even like standing on chairs. Hudson apparently doesn’t realize the danger of heights and starts climbing this wall. I tried to convince him not to, but he was determined. I stuck around as a safety net just incase, but he never needed me. I’ve been told he looks like me, but apparently he doesn’t get the same feeling my body does when he is near an ledge. My body wants to fling itself over any ledge. I can barely control it so I steer clear of any open cliffs or balconies.

The Wife

I thought I should introduce everyone to the Wife. This is the girl I suckered into marrying me. Her dad promised me $5000 if I married his daughter. I saw the opportunity to make it look like that was the reason I was getting married. Somehow he figured out the $5000 was not the reason I was marrying Melanie and has since decided I will not receive the money. Either way I came out way ahead!

Stratosphere

This is NOT the pool at the Stratosphere! This is a picture from the pool at the Monte Carlo. This was a trip we took to Vegas last year. This was what my expectation was of a pool in Vegas. Well we decided to break our drive up to Southern California and stop in Las Vegas for the first night. We, or Mel and her frugal tendencies rather, decided The Stratosphere at $65 a night is a great deal, and technically still on the Strip! Well a chihuahua and a great dane are technically both dogs. I know what you’re thinking... when you go to Vegas you expect trashy/tacky. But you expect trashy/tacky in a good way. There is a difference. We ventured to pool because it was 109 degrees. I noticed walking down the hall that a lot of the people walking down the hall were Raider fans. We got to the pool and I started noticing some scars on some people that to my untrained eye looked a little like bullet hole scars and possibly a few knife wounds. Again I am not an expert nor did I think it was a good idea to stare for more than half a second to verify my suspicions. I also didn’t realize cutoff denim shorts were approved swimming attire. The fact that denim can take 24hrs to dry might be beneficial in keeping you cool in the hot Vegas sun.These Stratosphere folk might be on to something. I was also shocked to see or rather not see the bottom of the pool. The water was a tad murky. It was amazing how different it looked on their website. From the pictures I didn’t realize the palm tree near the pool was spray painted on the wall gangsta style. Despite my better judgement I jumped in the pool I started to swim. When I pulled my hand out of the water I realized I somehow swam through someone’s hair because I had a clump tangled in my fingers. If you don’t plan to use the pool and just need a place to sleep the Stratosphere is not bad. But if you plan on leaving the room look elsewhere.